Gunshot Wedding

A few quickies:

Remember how Miranda said she couldn’t walk for DJ’s because of her honeymoon yet a week or so later did a shoot for Vogue Spain?

Remember how Miranda said she was on her honeymoon but they were both in LA even though they were supposed to have already gone?

Remember how, yet again, Miranda was on her Facebook at this exact time (rather than honeymooning)?

Remember how the wedding was meant to be a last minute thing yet Sonia B and Ann K both stated they knew a week in advance?

Remember how they both had no time to fly their families over, yet they had time to fly over dresses and a custom made wedding ring for Orlando that doesn’t fit?

Remember how Miranda promised her Facebook friends wedding photos that have still not surfaced?

Remember how both Orlando and Miranda both said it was just him and her at the wedding, yet you need witnesses to make the wedding legal?

Remember the multitude of different versions of the wedding?

Remember how Miranda and Orlando had eventually gone on their honeymoon, “Therese” was on Facebook saying they were on their honeymoon yet Orlando was spotted in Santa Monica a few days later? Matty was on Facebook saying how they are both in hiding on the same day Orlando was spotted in SM.

But the best one…

Remember the announcement of the announcement? That Miranda was going to make an announcement the next day? Well, the announcement came of their wedding the day before but Miranda was on Facebook… on her wedding day! The announcement of the announcement was sad in itself but I think she is more married to Facebook than Orlando.

~ by Kerrazy Lies on October 16, 2010.

44 Responses to “Gunshot Wedding”

  1. This was a total circus! A distaster. They proved what famewhores they really were by making an announcement of an announcement in the first place, this didn’t need to be done AT ALL. They didn’t need to alert people that an announcement was coming the next day, nor did they need to tell the people that they were married, they could have waited a month or so like Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem.

    I don’t know if they are married or not in reality. But if the child is going to be born in the US I think they maybe because that would give him more rights over the child if and when they get divorced. BUT if that is the case then why would all of the “story” about the why’s and wherefores not match? Why would she be on Facebook the day she got married? Why would she be on Facebook pretending to be her mother and Matty? Why did they stay so long in LA when they were meant to be on honeymoon? Why was he seen in Santa Monica when he was meant to be on honeymoon?? None of it adds up- but as usual it never does with these two.

    Orlando tried to put it across that they didn’t really have time to fly all their families over for the wedding, yet according to Ann Kerr and Sonia Bloom they knew a week before, so that was more than enough time. It will never add up to me for the simple reason that they didn’t have an SGI wedding (which I would think they would as they are both practicing SGI-ers) and that they would have had their families there, Miranda very much seems the type to “need” her mother with her at the most important time in her life, the fact of that alone makes me doubt it.

  2. I always found it amusing that the “wedding” was in the Caribbean (I think it’s been quoted several times that it took place there), seeing as Miranda is fairly infatuated with his character from PotC more so than him (she gave advice to some guy on her FB to dress as a pirate to get girls or something close to that effect).

    • HAHA!

      Good point!! Maybe she envisioned herself as Elizabeth Swann and him Will Turner! Well she did always say she preferred him to Orlando didn’t she 😉

  3. Also forgot to mention that I hope she has royally pissed off David Jones by lying to them, she could attend a vogue photoshoot yet couldn’t do her DJ duties? A bit like very recently when she said she couldn’t attend the Caulfield cup as she was “too big to fly”, yet then flew to Germany, and then walked for Balenciaga, then went on to Paris and attended some fashion shows/parties, so shes wasn’t “too big” for all of that was she?

    Also Orlando saying that he would “be careful not to trip her up” when she walked for Balenciaga was in disgusting bad taste wasn’t it? 😮

    • I don’t get that statement Orlando made. Did he mean he will try and not trip her, as in fall or something?

      • He said it meaning as she walked the catwalk he would put his foot out to make her fall over. That is what he meant, sure probably a joke, but who would joke about tripping your wife up when she is pregnant with your baby? It shocked me tbh

      • Or rather he would try NOT to put his foot out and make her fall over. What a nice, kind, caring husband and father to be!

    • She claims she’s too big (and that she’s getting bigger by the day), yet… why does that bump keep changing it’s size? One minute she looks hardly pregnant (leaving Paris to go to London for example via the eurostar, I think that’s what it’s called), to looking close to 7/8 months along when she and Orlando left Balenciaga.

      • The bump is baffling me too. It does seem like it is changing sizes, and how could that be possible with a real life baby bump? lol

        Something about this pregnancy is very weird and off, but I don’t know what tbh.

      • TomKat anyone? Katies bump changed size and shape many many times. I remember seeing comparison pictures and it was amazing.

      • I’ve noticed the bump size change too but thought I was imagining it lol I think I remember seeing her in quite a shortish dress after walking for Belanciaga and she looked quite small to me but I’ve never been pregnant so can’t fully know about such things.

      • The size did change with that short dress. I don’t know if that’s how it works or not, just that it’s constantly changing it’s size and the position, sometimes she looks like she’s carrying high when the bump is showing, and sometimes she looks to be carrying low.

        It does seem to be similar to TomKat though and her mysterious bump.

        Lets not forget though, she confirmed the pregnancy in the Spanish edition of Vogue, then took to FB (once again) with and I quote “Some thing’s we wanted to keep sacred for as long as we could… -” If it was so sacred, why even blab it. Not the first time she’s done this though.

    • This is the best lie and the more evident she said! No walk for DJ when she was 3months along but she did walk for balenciaga at 6 months…very consistent and professional of her. This shows how much she cares for DJ.

  4. Was on her FB recently, someone was pissed at her for dissing DJ’s but walking for Balenciaga. I can kinda see their point but I think DJs are pissed at her for cancelling with their “we dont need miranda kerr to fill a a marquee” lol classic

    • Really? I’m glad others are seeing it too. I bet it was an Australian, only natural they would have loyalty to David Jones. But it does look bad and unprofessional I have to say, and I would say the same if it was anyone else who had done it.

    • I’m starting to assume she was fired from DJs and that statement from them after the “wedding” was the calm before the storm. They probably didn’t want to cause drama at the time so they gave some lame excuse.

      • I wouldn’t be surprised one bit if they have got rid of her, can’t say I blame them either. They have hardly used her, and if she was their “star girl” they would use her a lot more in their catalogs etc

  5. You know, after my break from the Orlando fandom I started to think that maybe I was being too harsh on him and MK and that they weren’t complete morons. Then the wedding stuff started and it all went down hill from there. A massive WTF.

  6. Well, let’s begin with the first consideration. you based a lot of your assumptions on pictures. How can you analyze (really??) a baby bump from pics?? I saw Miranda from real when she was in Milan and I can assure you that the baby bump was visible. Also, she is now in her sixth month, plus she is skinny, so how big do you think her baby bump has to be? So I don’t see the point in this discussion, because it is clear thta she is pregnant.
    About the wedding: do you know the exact day of the wedding? Theexact day, not the day of the announcement or the day before when Miranda was on Facebook…I don’t think so, because no one knows the date of the wedding, except for Miranda, Orlando and their relatives. They said they were only the two of them, but of course they have witnesses, they were implied. Do you think it is strange that they haven’t flied their families for the wedding? What about those couple that married in Vegas? Were they not free to do what they prefer? And remember, they are both buddist, so they don’t need great ceremonies I think.
    Do you really think they are not married? Legally married? Again, you have no proofs, and btw, they are not obliged to say every little move they make. They can say “we are on honeymoon” and be in Santa Monica, because they want to avoid attention, so I don’t see the point again. It is not like they say: “we are in Africa” and then they were in Santa Monica.

    • Geez you act like you are their lawyer or something. Why don’t you stay over on your shipper blog with your fellow rose colored friends?

      • Couldn’t agree more. Just because we don’t like his “wife” doesn’t mean we aren’t “good” fans. I can disagree with someone and still like them. Theres no law in the Orlando Bloom Official Fan Guide (Order yours today!) that says we have to LIKE and AGREE with everything he does. I’m HIS fan, not Miranda’s. Why should I defend her for the sole reason that she is with him? I don’t like her, when they get a divorce I’m still not going to like her, when she gets arrested for fraud for all the kora crap I’m going to laugh… then still not like her. I will however always like Orlando thats why I’m his fan. Not because of all the PR crap he did, not he married a complete idiot, and not because of the movies he’s turned down. I’m his fan because I like the movies he does act in, I like him as a person (He seems like a nice guy). Now you can call me a bad fan if you want, Mayfrayn. But the truth is I am his fan and even though he’s married to someone I don’t like I’m still his fan. If anything, the fans that don’t like Miranda should be considered better fans for willing to stick by him even when we don’t like her.

    • Are you telling me that Miranda does not share the most silliest things on her Facebook? What she’s done that day, what she will be doing later that day, who she will be seeing, asking the whole of Facebook for medical advise when really she could just call her GP, saying what she’s done with Frankie, posting pictures of Sidi, saying she will post wedding pictures – now that you do not need to do. Ok, she didn’t dot it but she actually promised people that she would. If you think she doesn’t tell people her most intimate details then you are wrong, she did not want to keep her pregnancy sacred because she blabbed to Vogue Spain about being pregnant and how long she has been pregnant. Saying she wouldn’t fit into the clothes was also crap as she did just fine from the video I seen so you see, more crap!! No way can you say she is a private person because she isn’t!

      If you don’t see the point in this discussion then don’t join in? You do some of the longest posts here so…

    • Firstly you seeing her “in the flesh” means nothing either, it doesnt “prove” her bump is real. I believe there will be a baby- don’t get me wrong, but I am finding this ever changing bump suspect- there is no way a bump can go up and down all the time, that is a fact.

      If you look at photographs of skinny celebrities when they are pregnant at 6 months they are massive in comparison to Miranda, Alessandra Ambrosio, Nicole Richie etc all the photos are there, they are skinnier than Miranda yet their bumps are bigger- how is that possible? Unless the baby isnt developing properly there is no reason why she doesn’t have a 6 month old (and now nearly 7 month) looking bump, the rest of her being skinny still doesn’t prove that much, my Mother was very skinny when she was young but always had the belly growing and looking the right “month” size.

      I don’t know what is odd about it all, but there is something odd, the very fact she hides her bump says a lot to me, since when did she become the kind to hide her body? When women are pregnant they are proud and happy about the fact, it also can’t be down ti a “privacy” thing because everyone knows she is pregnant, so why hide it? Is she ashamed? Ashamed that the baby wasn’t planned? After all she is an apparent “traditionalist” according to her.

      Why on the Vogue spain shoot did one of her admirers say they “didnt see any bump” even though Miranda was telling them she was four months gone and was too big to fit into the clothes??

      HOW on the yoga video when she did a bend did the bump flatten? Baby bumps are not flexible to flatten.

      HOW come only a few weeks before in NY was her tummy nearly CONCAVE on a shoot she was doing when it was during a heatwave??

      Why when orlando met her at the airport in the UK (for his docorate)she was pushing her own luggage trolley??

      There is a lot of oddness to it. A lot of questions which there shouldnt be , but somehow there always is with those two.

      As for the marriage I am not saying they arent, like I said it is possible he has married her so he has proper rights to the baby, in LA it is very hard when parents get divorced for the father if the couple are not married.

      I would think if Orlando or Miranda were getting married to the one they loved it would have been a wedding like what Orlando’s friend Kris had a month ago, a proper SGI wedding, with their loved ones surrounding them, Miranda I think would love that, Orlando would love that, there is no reason on this earth why they didnt have an SGI wedding when that is their religion, sorry but I know some SGI-ers and they do things PROPERLY and would never do anything else but do all the SGI ceremonies. Practising SGI-ers like Orlando would do it EXACTLY- as he takes it very serious. So if he has done it for legal reasons then it will have been a quick no frills wedding, that isnt romantic one bit- nor is it living by your faith.

      They are two people who have pimped out a marriage and an unborn baby. That doesn’t make two very nice people does it? The pap set up’s prove that they are pimping it, sorry to say Mayfrayn that paps do NOT hang out at train stations EVER. So yet again they were called. And the only selling point they both have is that unborn baby, because rather than going on “Wetten Dass” to pimp out his work like he should’ve done, he chose to pimp pout the wife and baby- nice!

      • Glad to hear Kris and Vinessa finally got married!

      • I forgot about that KORA video where she’s doing Yoga with a visible bump, it did look rather strange. It looked more like a pooch (like she just ate) than a baby bump. She’s also trying to avoid her cravings as well, which I’ve never heard of a pregnant woman doing. Any of my friends who have been pregnant couldn’t avoid the cravings. There was also the FB message of the baby kicking when she was somewhere in her 4th month, now from what I’ve understood it’s closer to the 20th or 21st week when you feel the baby moving (correct me if I’m wrong on the week duration), but it’s more of a fluttering than a down right kick. That was around Aug. 27th, and if she was near her 20th/21st week (why is she using months rather than weeks?) then as of that date she’d be somewhere in the middle of her 5th month not her 4th.

        As for the marriage, we do know that Orlando is SGI, Miranda claims to be Buddhist (I don’t know if she’s claimed SGI or not), so if she’s claiming that why was she scouting churches in LA with her Mother directly after the engagement was announced?

        A custom wedding ring for Orlando that seems to like doing the disappearing act. It’s either there, missing (ie when they were at LAX it was there, then at Heathrow, it was missing) or on his middle finger.

      • Don’t even get me started on that KORA video! You can actually notice she is trying to remember what she read in a script. Hope she didn’t have plans of becoming an actor as she is just terrible! So much for “Natural” Skin care… More like “Shit I pulled from my arse” skin care!

  7. May, there’s a lot of easily ignored fluffle over baby (in her belly) bump here but I’d love to read a Dingho’s fan’s whitewash of Dingho Lies – the cigarette thing, the flying/not flying, etcetcetc.

  8. Great post!
    That ‘announcement of an announcement’ shows that she feared noone would care about if she weren’t alerting them. LOL Never heard that a real celeb had to do this.
    This baby bump is a miracle of it’s own. I still wait for the pic she promised on FB…

    @Mayfrayn: Do YOU have any proofs? Were YOU at her wedding? Have YOU seen any papers/pictures? NO? Thought so. So YOU have any proof either. If I want to look pregnant there’s are a way to do so without getting knocked up. See posts above.
    Oh, I forgot that you have like MK a doctor in telediagnosis.
    Why you’re not staying in Shipperfantasyland and stop wasting our time. We’re not turning our minds as hard as you try to defense her. Go and tell her how bad she got treated by Orlandos bad fans. LMAO

    • Perhaps she should become his new PR, seeing as she likes to announce things and keep everyone informed on their happenings. Most of the information, after all, as come straight from her, where as he hardly comments.

      • Or in other words Robin has better things to do than announcing an announcment. I bet she was laughing her a$$ of.
        It’s the 16th today let’s see what we will get in the next few days. *keeps popcorn with extra butter and soft drinks ready for the party*

  9. If she’s really pregnant then where is her front cover pregnancy shoot? All Proud pregnant models have them! Oh and she takes other peoples ideas for “her” Blog!

    • She has meant to have already shot the Vogue australia which is apparently an underwear shoot, so I’m sure we will see her bump and I would presume the magazine will be out in a months time.

      She always steals peoples ideas as she doesnt have any original ones of her own lol

    • We’ll soon see a cover with her showing the bump. It seems she shoot for Vogue Australia. They never had her on Vogue Australia to date but now she is pregnant and married to an actor she has suddenly become interesting. Such a coincidence!

      • Wonder if it will be yet another classless shoot.

      • @Kerrazy Lies
        It will be her style, so no class at all. Just think of that GQ shoot….really classy.

      • Oh Ewww that GQ Shoot was as tasteless as it gets. The word pornstar comes to mind and that’s how she should be labeled! Pffft to think she promotes herself as an ambassador for young girls… PATHETIC!

      • @Bones
        That’s true. I am as old as her but she is the last role model I’d think of! What does she have to teach except how to undress and starve? Please, role models are way different things.

  10. Seems also as of July 11th Miranda was still denying the pregnancy rumors. She dismissed them saying they were just rumors and they were just enjoying being engaged.

  11. I just found this little blurp.

    Regarding the wedding gowns:
    The Sydney Morning Herald is reporting that Miranda Kerr requested four Collette Dinnigan vintage gowns to possibly wear to her secret wedding ceremony in America last week.

    Regarding Orlando’s “custom made ring” (shit I didn’t know a solid gold band was a custom bling ring):
    Continuing the Aussie theme, Kerr reportedly blinged up Orlando with a ring made by Sydney jewellery designer Stefano Canturi.


    No offense to any Aussies, but why, with them, is everything Australian base? It seems as if he gave up his British roots or something.

    • I agree, but it looks very one sided doesnt it? No mention of where he got his suit or ring for her? For a man who said he would never live in LA, I don’t really believe that he loves the UK as much as he did.

      • Knowing her, she probably arranged for suits to be flown in from DJs as well as selecting her own “custom” wedding band.

      • LOL! That doesn’t surprise me either. I always find it funny that her details to do with that relationship come out, like the wedding dress and his ring, kind of like the matching PJ’s lmao- that says it all.

      • I’m not surprised. It was HER wedding, HER publicist, HER announcment of an announcment, HER blabbing at FB. HER, HER, HER!

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